Brodo Primordiale

…fatevi due risate:

MEMO to all the Staff:

It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our establishment in Rome that offensive language is commonly used by our italian speaking staff. Such behaviour, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

1. Words like “cazzo”, “porca puttana” or “mi sono rotto il cazzo” and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become;

2. You will not say “ha fatto una cazzata” when someone makes a mistake, or “se lo stanno inculando” if you see someone being reprimended, or “che stronzata” when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb “cagare” are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment;

3. No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred as “figlio di puttana”, “coglione”, “testa di cazzo”;

4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as “mancanza di palle” nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as “bradipo” or “cagone”;

5. Unusual or creative ideas offered by the management are not to be referred as “cagate mentali” or “idee del cazzo”;

6. Do not say “come rompe le palle” nor “ha rotto i coglioni” if a person is persistent; do not add “gli fa ancora male il culo” if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say “siamo nella merda” (refer to item # 2) nor “ci hanno aperti” when a matter becomes excessively complicated;

7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say “vattene affanculo” nor should you ever substitute “may I help you?” with “che cazzo vuoi?”;

8. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners “vecchi stronzi”;

9. Do not say “me ne sbatto” when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer “ciucciami il cazzo” when your assistance is required;

10. You should never call partners as “frocio” or “mignotta”; the sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as “culattone” or “bagascia”;

11. Last but not least, after reading this note, please don’t say “mi ci pulisco il culo”: just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

~ by brodo on 20 Settembre 2007.